You Know You Are Addicted To The Internet When...</h2><ol style="line-height:22px;"><li style="line-height:22px;">You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.<li style="line-height:22px;">You kiss your girlfriend's home page.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.<li style="line-height:22px;">You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.<li style="line-height:22px;">You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.<li style="line-height:22px;">You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop<li style="line-height:22px;">You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.<li style="line-height:22px;">All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: cable modem...T1...T3.<li style="line-height:22px;">And even your night dreams are in HTML.<li style="line-height:22px;">You find yourself typing com after every period when using a word processor.com<li style="line-height:22px;">You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.<li style="line-height:22px;">You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.<li style="line-height:22px;">You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.<li style="line-height:22px;">You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new mail arrives.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.<li style="line-height:22px;">All of your friends have an @ in their names.<li style="line-height:22px;">When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your dog has its own home page.<li style="line-height:22px;">You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue?<li style="line-height:22px;">You can't call your mother...she doesn't have internet.<li style="line-height:22px;">You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.<li style="line-height:22px;">You believe nothing looks sexier than a nude illuminated only by a 19 LCD.<li style="line-height:22px;">You check your mail. It says no new messages. So you check it again.<li style="line-height:22px;">You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.<li style="line-height:22px;">You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.<li style="line-height:22px;">You don't know what sex your three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.<li style="line-height:22px;">You name your children Mozilla and Dotcom.<li style="line-height:22px;">You laugh at people with 56K modems.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.<li style="line-height:22px;">You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games<li style="line-height:22px;">You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.<li style="line-height:22px;">You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.<li style="line-height:22px;">You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html<li style="line-height:22px;">You actually try that 123.elm.street address.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.<li style="line-height:22px;">You tell the kids they can't use the computer because Daddy's got work to do and you don't even have a job.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.<li style="line-height:22px;">You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your wife makes a new rule: The computer cannot come to bed. <li style="line-height:22px;">You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.<li style="line-height:22px;">You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off.<li style="line-height:22px;">The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.<li style="line-height:22px;">You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while you are pretending to catch your breath.<li style="line-height:22px;">You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.<li style="line-height:22px;">You forget what year it is.<li style="line-height:22px;">You start tilting your head sideways to smile.<li style="line-height:22px;">You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.<li style="line-height:22px;">Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer so the two of you can chat.</ol>
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